The Host
Holds the group together, and remembers everything.
energised by people and the outside world
trusts what is concrete, present and proven
decides by values and effect on people
wants things settled, planned and closed
You are attentive, sociable and genuinely invested in other people being all right. You keep the connections alive that everyone else lets lapse. You care what people think of you more than you like to admit, which makes you conscientious and occasionally leaves you over-extended.
Strengths
- Warm and consistently thoughtful
- Organises people and occasions effortlessly
- Reliable -- follows through on social commitments
- Notices when someone is struggling
Blind spots
- Takes disagreement as rejection
- Over-involves themselves in other people's business
- Struggles to say no, then feels used
- Prefers harmony to an honest conversation
Where to grow
- Let someone dislike a decision without it meaning they dislike you
- Say the honest thing even when it disturbs the peace
- Ask for help rather than waiting to be offered it
In relationships
You give a great deal and you need appreciation said out loud -- silence reads to you as disapproval. Watch for keeping the peace at the cost of your own position; a partner cannot address a problem you have decided not to mention.
How ESFJ actually thinks
The four letters are a label; this is the mechanism. The order matters — the first function is what you lead with and trust, the last is where you are least comfortable and most easily knocked off balance.
Tracks and tends the emotional state of the group.
Compares the present against a detailed store of past experience.
Diverges into possibilities; sees what else a thing could become.
Builds an internally consistent model and tests claims against it.